Dwelling

I dwell on things.
Big things,
Little things,
Insignificant things,
Petty things,
Tapping on the table things,
Heavy things,
Weight of the world things,
Weight of a feather things,
Papercut things,
Things hardly noticed,
Things that sting,
Heart shattering things,
Things of sorrow,
Things of tomorrow,
The future things,
Counter clockwise things,
Have no control over things,
I wish I had a time machine things,
Things to undo,
Things I need to shoot,
Things to burn in a fire,
Suicidal things,
Heavier things,
Hateful things,
Vicious things,
Blood tainted things,
Suffocating things,
Things that consume,
Things attached to an anchor,
Untouched by the sun things,
Foggy things,
Dense things,
The heaviest of things,
Wish I didn’t give a shit things,
Things that know I’m weak,
Things I wish I could speak,
Things I wish I could delete,
Things that force me to think,
Surrounding my every thought things,
The things I dwell on
Are
The things I dwell in,
Cornered,
Hands up,
I never stood a chance things.

***

A Haunting

Anxiety haunts,

You don’t ever see it,

But you feel it,

Like static electricity,

an inner ferocity

Which travels through

My lungs-

Inhaling,

My heart-

Pulsating,

My voice-

Hesitating,

My brain-

Panicking,

Ferocious panic remains–

My brain,

Insane

Asylum,

My brain,

Secret craze,

My brain,

A chain–

Locked,

My brain,

Tentatively

Brave,

My brain,

Causing pain,

My brain,

Cocaine,

Movement trained

To be

Ashamed,

My brain,

Thoughts flowing–

Unclaimed,

My brain,

Afraid,

My brain,

Blames,

It’s all my fault,

I cause,

Which in turns effects,

I am diseased,

Which in turn infects,

I think

Therefore dissect,

And there,

Lying in a dish,

Scientifically

Dismembered,

Rendered useless,

My brain

A trial,

Not the breakthrough

My brain

A drop of paint.

Not the masterpiece,

Just a drop

Just a sample,

Honestly,

Just nothing.

My brain–

A static electricity

Which only I feel,

And no one else discovers,

Until I recover,

Write

And share–

I welcome you
to my

ghost stories.

***

Inspired by music lyrics, Diana Ramirez’s love of poetry began as a teenager. She has recently been inspired by the raw and thought provoking poetry of various spoken word artists. She stepped out of her comfort zone in 2016 by creating an event called Words Come to Life, poetry-inspired art aiming to inspire at-risk youth. Her drive to make her vision come true came from her two boys and showing them what it is to follow your passion. She is a college student majoring in Human Services and a board member for the Arts Council of Kern and Bakersfield Parent Nursery and works for local non-profit organization CASA. Her most influential and inspirational teachers are her boys, ages seven and four.