I’m tired of begging to be loved
and so I won’t beg anymore. I’ll love myself
my own way. Yes,
I’m sometimes lonely.
I sometimes feel unlikable
and worthless, but wine works better than you.

You told me what to do and then fell asleep
next to me after screaming
about how cold my fingers were,
I shouldn’t touch you, you were trying to sleep,
I should get my fucking snake fingers off you.

I tried my best to turn you on, but I couldn’t.
Five minutes of porn turned you on more than me,
so my snake fingers learned how to lie down
beside you and fantasize about someone else
and use my own fingers on myself
until I couldn’t stop hissing.

(the italicized first line is from a piece of writing by Sandra Feen, which inspired this poem)

***

Juliet Cook is a grotesque glitter witch medusa hybrid brimming with black, grey, silver, purple, and dark red explosions. She is drawn to poetry, abstract visual art, and other forms of expression. Her poetry has appeared in a peculiar multitude of literary publications. You can find out more at http://www.JulietCook.weebly.com.